“It was when I stopped searching for home within others and
lifted the foundation of home within myself: I found there were
no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that
have decided to be whole.” -Rupi Kaur
How did you feel when you were not traveling, when you were back home in between trips?
When I would first come home from a trip, my initial thought was always, "Yes! I get to sleep in my own bed!" I love traveling, but coming back to a familiar place of comfort can always be nice, especially if you already have another adventure lined up. Looking back, some my favorite moments during this transitional period were spent in between adventures. I found myself going on a lot of solo adventures, exploring areas all over Maryland that I'd never been to. I would go on day hikes in new places almost every week, explore historic sites, check out new coffee shops, walk around downtown Baltimore, and just go on scenic drives down back roads getting lost and being perfectly okay with it. All of this might sound trivial and every-day for some, but I had never had the literal freedom (lack of car) and personal freedom (lack of self-interest) to do these things on my own before.
What were some reactions or responses you received from friends and family about traveling so much, the changes you were making etc.?
I have never received so much positive reinforcement in my entire life. My family was so proud of me for improving my physical and mental health, my friends were happy for me because I was becoming a stronger and more authentic version of myself, and my mentors, who had been encouraging me every step of the way, were ecstatic to see that I was accomplishing all of the goals I had set for myself.
What did you discover about the world as a result of your wanderlust? About yourself?
There's so much more out there than what we've already experienced. I never anticipated finding so much joy, beauty, and vibrancy until I experienced it first-hand. The same applies to ourselves. Every adventure takes me deeper into my understanding of who I am because I need adventure at the core of my being. This beautiful and chaotic time in my life was the greatest gift I've ever received from the universe.
I find myself - my true authentic self, to be restless, curious, unsatisfied with routine, intuitive and blindly determined.
What advice would present day Bianca give to Bianca of a few years ago, before your journeys?
The idea of telling myself to work towards self-love and authenticity before things got crazy sounds appealing, but it just wasn't time. I spent my entire life suppressing who I was, I never took time to get to know myself. Every year I would continue to throw dirt on the fire until one day it became a volcano and blew everything up. I was still going through the series of trials that the universe had created for me. We all have a time line, it's just a matter of getting to each moment that takes you to the next. I couldn't have avoided this process from happening even if I tried. Everything happens the way it's meant to... Synchronicity is associated with the law of attraction, what you believe becomes your reality and what you put out is what you get back.
I think of you when I see quotes like the one below…talk to me about this…give me your perspective.
“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.
No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.
The gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone
are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” –Bob Moawad
This really hits home for me. During this time, I kept experiencing this truth wash over me in waves periodically, and it didn't really take much to trigger it. I would be driving around by myself and it would hit me...
I have myself and that is enough.
I would go hiking and revel in the beauty of the woods and be so incredibly content that I felt like I had beams of light shooting out of my body. I would lay in bed and stare at the ceiling thinking about the life I was making for myself and be overwhelmed with self-love.
It really is amazing how just a simple shift in perspective can completely alter your quality of life.